It’s important to be confident in yourself. And, let’s be honest, it’s often difficult to have self-confidence in this world, with the emphasis society places on physical appearance.
With that in mind, I’ll highlight some really great ways to build and show confidence. This article is designed to be a practical guide that will help you to not be ugly — which, by the way, is at the core a matter of self-image and perception.
If you’re struggling with that, here are 25 things you can do to not feel like you’re unattractive. I’ll also talk about the crucial role of a healthy self-image in overall well-being.
Let’s get started.
1) Don’t be fake
One of the biggest things that makes people unattractive has nothing to do with their looks.
How can that be?
Well, it has to do with the way they behave, and whether or not they’re being honest about how they present themselves to the world.
In other words, if somebody is being fake and trying too hard to be something they’re not, it will come across as disingenuous, and unattractive.
So make sure to put yourself first. Stay true to who you are, and try not to come off as fake or like you’re trying too hard.
Of course, this isn’t always easy to do…
When it comes to being true to yourself, however, there’s one very good place to start:
Start by recognizing the incredible power of being your true self.
You see, all of us have the potential to live lives we love, but most of us don’t realize how easily we can achieve what we want if we can acknowledge our own uniqueness.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s dedicated his life to helping people restore authenticity and live life with passion at the heart of everything they do.
A few years ago, I came across his insightful masterclass on Love and Intimacy. You might be thinking: what does love and intimacy have to do with your authenticity?
Well, I never knew it until the masterclass, but it has everything to do with it. True love and intimacy with yourself is the foundation of being able to express yourself genuinely.
The more you can master self-love, self-understanding, and compassion, the greater your belief in yourself becomes – magnifying the beauty in all areas of life, including relationships with others.
Are you ready to level up your life completely?
Do you want to leave your fears, unhealthy habits, and sense of lack behind and transform into an incredible, self-loving version of yourself?
2) Work your angles
Really photogenic people are, of course, naturally good-looking on the camera. However, they don’t always look like “supermodels”. Sometimes they look completely different off-camera.
What they are good at is knowing their angles.
When it comes to getting in front of the camera or taking a selfie, they almost instinctively know how to place their body and angle their head.
How about you?
Experiment a little bit with your selfie camera, and take some different angled shots. Which side flatters you the most?
What kind of poses suits your body type?
It’s not about comparing yourself to other people and saying “I’m just not pretty, I don’t know how not to be ugly.” It’s about working what you’ve got.
So don’t be afraid to experiment. Shots from slightly higher angles and at arm’s length will help slim and define your face.
Pay attention to lighting, too. Where the light comes from will set the shadows and highlights of your face, drastically changing the way it looks on camera.
And remember, you’re gorgeous.
3) Highlight your strengths
So much about being fashionable, chic, or stylish is really about knowing your body type.
What features of your body do you like the most, or think are the most attractive?
Further, what features are you the most self-conscious about, or think are the least attractive?
Try to make outfits that accentuate your strengths, and camouflage your weak points.
Know your body type and play into it. Rock what you’ve got.
When it comes to your face, hairstyle makes a big difference. Try to understand what hairstyle will suit your face best.
For the guys, neatly trim your beard, no matter the length. And, consider trimming it to stubble. Studies show that a lot of women like stubble the most.
4) Check your wardrobe
Wardrobe really plays a big role in the way we present ourselves to the world.
It’s not just about being fashionable, trendy, or on fleek.
One of the biggest ways we communicate with the people around us is with clothing.
So what is your clothing telling people?
Is it drab, wrinkly, mismatched, or purely about comfort?
People are getting the message that you don’t put in enough effort.
On the other hand, if you pay attention to your clothes, it will show.
The point is that there’s no one particular style that is “right” or “wrong”. It’s all about finding clothes that you love to wear, look neat and put together, and also look good on you.
If your wardrobe game is strong, you’re already well on your way to being a powerhouse of attraction.
Pro-tip: don’t wear pajama pants in public.
5) Wear the right shoes
Shoes are the keystone to style, elegance, and setting an outfit off.
In other words, if you’ve got the right shoes, your whole outfit is going to benefit. Which means you’ll be even more attractive.
But they’re just shoes, you might be thinking.
The thing is, though, that shoes can really make or break an outfit. Start paying attention to people’s shoes more. You’ll begin to see that even the simplest of outfits can be given that extra je ne sais quoi with the right pair.
On the contrary, a well-put-together outfit on a person who clearly cares about their appearance can be ruined by an ugly, tacky, or dirty pair of shoes.
For me personally, my footwear is one of the most expressive parts of an outfit.
Because of that, my shoes always look well lived in, unique — almost an extension of myself. I’m not very nice to my shoes, either, which leads me to pick out shoes or boots that are rugged and break in well.
The point is this: your shoe choice does matter, so make sure to give it a little thought. People will notice, and they’ll find it attractive.
6) Have good hygiene
There’s nothing quite like the kind of unattractive that someone is when they haven’t taken good care of their hygiene.
It’s nothing personal, we’re all just naturally repelled by a bad body smell, bad breath, and so on.
However, it’s very important to have good hygiene, regardless of outside opinion. Good hygiene is good for you and will help you be your best, healthiest self.
Brush your teeth, keep your body clean, wash your clothes, brush and style your hair.
The fact that you care about your hygiene will be apparent to the people around you. Not only will they thank you for it, they might just find it attractive.
7) Take care of your health
More so than hygiene, it’s important to take care of your whole body.
Why? What does that have to do with being attractive?
Remember, it’s not just about being attractive, it’s about feeling attractive. I know for a fact when I haven’t been taking care of my health, I feel terrible.
I feel like the furthest thing from attractive.
Besides, when you get moderate exercise, participate in physical activities you enjoy, and eat well, it is kind of obvious to other people.
And you don’t have to be super into fitness, either, for people to notice.
When I see a person who takes care of their body, regardless of their outward appearance, I can tell. They seem glowing, confident, and, well, healthy.
That’s attractive to me.
And, again, it’s important to feel attractive. One of the greatest ways to do that is by eating healthy, staying active, and taking care of your health.
It’s important to take care of your mental health, too. Understanding our moods, the way our brain works, and what we need to stay mentally healthy is vital to our overall well-being.
In other words, treating your mental health the same as you would your physical health is so important.
Here’s a fascinating self-healing meditation that transforms the relationship you have with your body
8) Get good sleep
Ever heard of the term “beauty rest”?
Well, there’s a reason it’s called that.
The body performs all kinds of restorative functions while we sleep. Without enough sleep, it starts to show.
A study done by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine proves that losing sleep, even one night promotes biological aging.
The last thing any of us wants to promote is aging. Usually, the goal is to prevent it, right?
So make sure to get your beauty sleep.
The average adult needs between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night. I know I usually go for 9; I love sleeping.
When you get the sleep you need, your body can restore and heal from the day’s damaging effects.
9) Stay hydrated
Water is equivalent to life. Without it, nothing can live.
Water provides your body with everything it needs to hydrate, restore, cleanse, and heal.
Staying hydrated will help your skin look better, your eyes clearer, and will give you more energy. It helps your body flush toxins and impurities, which will naturally give you more glow.
Who doesn’t want those things?
On top of that, it makes you feel good, which in turn will help you to be and feel attractive.
10) Put in the work
Caring about your appearance and taking care of your body is an investment.
It takes time, it takes, effort, and it can take a little money.
Don’t be afraid to commit to it, though.
When you’re doing it for yourself, your health, and your well-being, it’s an investment well worth the effort.
You’ll feel better, look better, be healthier, and be more confident.
All of those things are highly attractive.
In other words, if you’re looking for a great way to not be ugly, proving that you care about yourself is the biggest way you can do it.
What comes next is this: people will start to notice. It’s easy to spot someone who has put in the work on their appearance. It shows, and it’s attractive.
Really, then, it’s not about who has the best looks or who is the prettiest, but rather about caring about yourself and exuding confidence.
I want to share something with you that changed my life.
At a time when I was stuck in a rut, my emotions running wild, stress, and anxiety closing in daily, I was introduced to an incredibly invigorating breathwork video, created by the shaman Rudá Iandê.
Now you might be wondering, how can breathwork transform your life and help you learn how to be truly beautiful in a powerful way!
Well, through the breathwork sequences Rudá has created in this life-changing video, you’ll learn to empower your emotions instead of letting them rule you. You’ll be given the tools to dissolve stress and anxiety.
And most importantly, you’ll learn to reconnect with every fiber of your being.
And yes, it really is as simple as taking a breath.
So why am I so confident this will help you?
Well, Rudá isn’t just your average shaman. He’s spent years combining ancient shamanic healing traditions with breathwork techniques to create this unique flow.
And if it could bring me out of the rut I was stuck in, I’m sure it could help you too.
So if you’re ready to take a step towards reconnecting with yourself and injecting a breath of fresh air into your life, check out Rudá’s excellent breathwork flow.
11) Rock those shades
Rockstars wear sunglasses for a reason.
It makes them look cool.
In other words, don’t be afraid to rock those shades. In the same way, a fantastic pair of shoes can make an outfit go from ordinary to exceptional, so will the perfect pair of sunglasses.
They add symmetry to the face, give you a certain amount of mystery, and are a great way to express yourself.
I love wearing wild and crazy sunglasses. The crazier, weirder, and funkier they are, the better. I love wearing them because it gives me a sense of confidence I otherwise might not have.
So don’t be afraid to try on all kinds of sunglasses. They might not all look good, but you’ll find a pair that fits your style and you can feel confident wearing them.
12) Body language
Apart from clothing, the biggest way we communicate non-verbally with people around us is with our body language
The way we use our bodies to communicate can have a say in whether or not people find us attractive or not.
Being closed off, hunched over, nervous and fiddly, or anything similar will come off in the wrong way.
A great way to boost your attractiveness is to mimic their body language. It seems kind of strange, but studies show that subtle mimicry can indicate attraction.
Don’t go overboard, of course, but noting a few mannerisms and adopting a similar stance or movement will naturally make you more attractive to them.
Here’s a handful of other body language tricks that will pay off forever.
13) Don’t slouch
Along the same lines, slouching is a form of body language that most people don’t find attractive.
Furthermore, it’s not helping flatter your features.
Holding your shoulders wide and keeping your chin up will naturally flatter your–your jawline, neck, shoulders, and chest.
Obviously, it has to be natural; forcing a pose that isn’t comfortable or is just too rigid will also put people off.
This can also give your body confidence.
How so? While the science behind it is disputable, taking ‘power poses’ can alter your outlook, mood, and could gear your mind towards being confident, attractive, and bold.
14) Stand tall
Standing with proper posture is really good for your health.
It involves keeping your head high, shoulders comfortably wide directly above your hips, and keeping a natural arch in your lower back.
Standing like this will give people the impression that you have confidence, and beyond that it will flatter your best features.
In other words, allow your beautiful body to show itself off.
15) Relax and smile
For those of us who are nervous in public or in conversations with people, it can be really hard to relax.
When I’m in public, meeting new people, or striking up conversations, I find myself very nervous.
And when I’m nervous, it shows. I fiddle with things, can’t keep still, don’t make good eye-contact, and so on.
If you struggle with this, do your best to just relax. Take a few deep breaths, focus on centering yourself, and find your calm.
Once you’ve found your center, you’ll realize how easily people are attracted to you. They’ll be drawn to you and listen to what you have to say.
Don’t be afraid to smile, either. There’s no need to be shy or closeted off.
Of course, if smiling isn’t all that natural for you, don’t force it.
Really, then, a big key to being attractive is about relaxing and just being yourself.
Here are a few simple ways to develop unshakeable belief in yourself.
16) Take care of your teeth
Society has a strange fascination with everything needing to be “perfect” to be beautiful.
However, that’s just unhealthy, and not entirely true. The best smiles are the ones that are well taken care of.
Healthy gums, white teeth, and fresh breath are hugely important when learning how not to be ugly.
If you’ve got crooked teeth, or are self-conscious about how they’re not straight enough, don’t be.
As long as they’re well taken care of, healthy, and white, people will notice that first.
However, if your crooked teeth cause you pain, sores, or any other kinds of discomfort, it might be worth looking into getting braces or other corrective dental work.
17) Know your colors
A lot of people will tell you that wearing red will make you more attractive, that it’s some kind of “power color”.
While that probably works for a lot of people, personally red just doesn’t look good. It’s not flattering for me.
It took me a while to realize that, but when I did, it was a big relief.
There’s just something about wearing the wrong color that robs you of all confidence.
In other words, know your colors.
Try different colors on in different lights, and pay attention to how it makes your skin look, your eyes, complexion, and your hair color.
It might take some trial and error, but you’ll build a good color palette that will flatter your complexion, every time.
Remember, though, maybe it’s the color of the clothes, and not that you’re unattractive. Being attractive is about knowing yourself and giving yourself every positive advantage.
18) Use makeup to your advantage
Makeup isn’t the answer to everything.
Using it too heavily or trying to achieve unrealistic results will, naturally, end in disaster.
Makeup should be looked at like a tool to help you accentuate your natural features. To go too overboard is kind of like putting on clown makeup and hiding behind it.
There’s so much that can be done with just a little makeup applied in the right places.
If it makes you nervous or overwhelmed, feel free to watch as many videos online as you can.
And, of course, practice. Soon enough you’ll be learning and perfecting techniques that you didn’t even know of before, and you’ll be able to use makeup to your advantage.
The point is this: when you know how to use makeup effectively, it’s just one more tool to add to your arsenal of feeling attractive.
19) Get the right haircut
I touched on this a bit earlier, but it warrants its own point.
Why? Because it’s that important.
When you have the wrong haircut, it will tend to accentuate the wrong features, play into your weaknesses and not your strengths.
With the right haircut, however, you can feel confident, show off your best features, and rock a hairstyle that’s as eye-catching as you are.
If you’re overwhelmed by how to go about knowing what hairstyle suits you, do a little research on face shapes, hairstyles, and what might look good.
It might be worth considering saving up some money to go to a really good stylist. They’ll be able to know what will look best on you and give you good styling tips, good color, and so on.
20) Be curious
Curious people are attractive. Their heads are always up, they’re alert, bright-eyed, and interested in everything around them.
In other words, they’re engaging with the world around them, actively present in the moment, and always ready to learn new things.
For a lot of people, that’s a really desirable trait.
Besides, by being curious and learning new things, you’ll be able to naturally build your confidence.
We all know that confidence is the main way to being and feeling attractive.
21) Go with a group
Studies show that people in groups tend to be more attractive.
The eye tends to average out the attractiveness of everyone in the group, so it could prove to be an advantage.
Besides, doing things in groups is more fun, allows you to relax and express your individuality, and opens you up to new and different experiences.
All around, then, it’s a good idea to go with a group.
22) Don’t gossip
When it comes to one of the surefire ways how to not be ugly, this is one of the biggest.
What do I mean?
Well, no matter how “fun” or satisfying gossiping is, the fact of the matter is that it’s unkind, thoughtless, and callous.
And it makes you look really unattractive.
No one likes a gossiper, no matter what way you cut it.
If all your friends make a habit of it, try to consider that they might be talking about you, too, when you’re not around.
Gossip hurts everyone who takes part. However, if you avoid it, you’ll be all the more attractive for it.
23) Have a good sense of humor
Nobody enjoys spending time with someone who takes themselves too seriously.
In your journey to embracing your inner beauty, don’t forget to laugh and have a good time.
If you take yourself too seriously, it leaves little room for people to enjoy your company.
For example, you might come off as trying too hard, being fake, or overly preoccupied with making an impression.
So don’t be afraid to lighten up and enjoy things. Laugh at yourself, make a few jokes, and remember to have a healthy sense of humor.
24) Be self-aware
This goes hand in hand with the last point.
Make sure you have a realistic picture of yourself. There’s no point in getting too caught up in the image you’re projecting.
Further, there’s no point in focusing too much on exactly how other people “should” be perceiving you.
You will always be who you are, and awareness of this fact will keep you lighthearted, easy-going, and content with yourself.
In his excellent free video, the shaman Rudá Iande shares the secret to aligning work, family, spirituality, and love with your true self. Once you have this balance, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.
I mentioned Rudá previously because he isn’t just an average shaman.
He uses an incredibly effective approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. He knows how to tap into his pool of potential and power, and now he wants to share these life-changing methods with you.
So if you’re ready to make that change today, to put self-doubt behind you and start living your best life, you need to check out his genuine advice.
When you’re content with yourself and aware of who you are, you become someone that a lot of people will find highly attractive.
With self-awareness comes satisfaction and confidence. This brings me to my final point…
25) Ooze confidence
Remember that the end goal of being attractive lies in being confident.
You’re building an arsenal of tools and techniques to help you embrace exactly who you are, and show that off to the world.
When you ooze confidence, it doesn’t matter if societal norms think that you’re “ugly” or “unattractive” because frankly, you’re not.
Let me reiterate that: Beauty has more to do with realizing your inner potential and being confident than it ever will about outward appearances.
How to build and show confidence
It’s easy to say that the answer is to be confident, but it’s a lot harder to actually find that confidence.
So what are some ways you can build your confidence?
Remember to always be kind to yourself and think positively about yourself. You really are your best friend, so endeavor to always think accordingly.
You can also endeavor to adjust your habits so you have more time to do things that you love. When you really start to build a groove around doing what makes you happy, you’ll naturally feel more confident.
You could also set a few challenges for yourself; when you reach them your confidence will soar.
If it makes you feel bad, avoid it. That could be bad habits, it could be procrastination, guilt, or someone or a group of people that gets your self-esteem down. Do what you can to avoid those negative things. You’ll find yourself happier, content, and with more energy to do what you love.
Here’s a vital key:
To look good to other people, you have to care about yourself. You can’t care about what other people think, it has to radiate outwards.
The importance of a healthy self-image
The pressures of society are far from the kind on our self-image.
Think about it: how many images of “ideal beauty” have you seen just today? These images come from everywhere: advertisements, influencers, celebrities, media, the list goes on.
The idea of beauty we as a society have — granted is changing — however, is an unhealthy standard. It can lead to all kinds of complexes and issues about self-esteem, self-image, and worth.
Remember that your worth has nothing to do with your beauty. They are separate things. Media at large doesn’t like to highlight that.
Body dysmorphic disorder is something that a lot of people struggle with, maybe even you.
It’s characterized by a fixation with either real or perceived flaws, and an inability to believe people who tell them they look great. It causes severe emotional distress to the point of interfering with daily functions.
The Anxiety & Depression Association of America explains that the causes
“are unclear, but certain biological and environmental factors may contribute to its development, including genetic predisposition, neurobiological factors such as malfunctioning of serotonin in the brain, personality traits, and life experiences (e.g. child maltreatment, sexual trauma, peer-abuse).”
No matter the reason, it can be a hard thing to live with. Professional help might prove to be very helpful for you if you struggle deeply with your self-image.
A lot goes into having a confident, outgoing personality, but it will bring you satisfaction knowing that you are a dynamic, genuine, and attractive person.
Just remember, your self-worth is far more important than your looks and in fact a separate thing.
Focus on embracing yourself, being genuine, and building confidence. Those are qualities that will assuredly make you both feel and be attractive.
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